Absolutely the advice given to you was correct.
For a start off, as you say yourself, 80% of A2B individuals do NOT make an anti-A1, but of those 20% who DO make an anti-A1, how many will make that anti-A1 as a result of immunisation as a result of transfusion or pregnancy? The answer to that, if you read any book concerning blood group serology (and that is NOT a criticism of you - we all started somewhere, including the very best, such as Herr Dr Willy Flegel, and others - and I have HUGE respect for Willy), you will see that a clinically significant anti-A1 is amazingly rare.
For an anti-A1 to be clinically significant, it has to react strictly at 37oC, and that is a VERY rare "animal", and no example of anti-A1 has EVER been implicated in a case of HDFN, so, PLEASE, do not worry about giving A1B (or even A1) blood to an A2B individual, even if they have an anti-A1 in their circulation, UNLESS they have an anti-A1 that is actually active at strictly 37oC.