We had one co-worker who very descreetly dropped some plastic vomit in the middle of the lab floor and kept walking. The variety of reactions was priceless.

Thank god for humor or this job would drive us all crazy!!!

Hot off the presses...a nurse just called us to see if we have blood. We asked for patient information, she said, "oh no, this isn't for a particular patient, I just want to call to make sure you HAVE blood." I'm thinking (well, we did answer the phone "Blood Bank" didn't we???)...but we just told her, "yes, we have blood". She thanked us and hung up.

I wonder if this nurse calls her bank to check to see if they have money before she goes shopping? smh...:disbelief:disbelief:disbelief

Edited September 7, 201014 yr by jayinsat
remove sex ambiguity

Result of Urinalysis:

“Patient did not provide urine, urine voided by Receiving’

What??!!!

I saw a new admitting diagnosis Tuesday---"Sick Patient". Hmm, I wonder who would go to the ER if they weren't sick?! It did provide a nice laugh for us in the Blood Bank.

I used to work at a Level I trauma center. We'd get diagnoses of "GSW to buttocks" (didn't run fast enough), "car vs. pedestrian" (pedestrian never won), but my all-time favorite was one Xmas season when the diagnosis was "car vs. walmart."

Jane

one of our attendings in the ER has a unique sense of humor, and when the new admissions clerk asked for an admitting diagnosis for a GSW he told her "acute lead poisoning".

We had a patient come to the ER today for "possible staff infection"

antrita

We had a patient come to the ER today for "possible staff infection"

antrita

This made me laugh, because before I became a MT, I would watch shows like St. Elsewhere and the like and hear about how devastating "staff" infections could be in a hospital. Well no kidding...if the staff is infected, it would be a VERY bad thing indeed!

Had a good one yesterday. A patient came in who had taken a picture of his forehead with his cell phone and sent it to a nurse some where. (Didn't get the deals) The nurse told him it "might be MRSA". Boy you gotta love technology where nurses can provide a diagnosis from a cell phone picture.

Had a good one yesterday. A patient came in who had taken a picture of his forehead with his cell phone and sent it to a nurse some where. (Didn't get the deals) The nurse told him it "might be MRSA". Boy you gotta love technology where nurses can provide a diagnosis from a cell phone picture.

Must be a very new phone with an extremely high resolution camera for that diagnosis

You know, I'm seriously thinking of giving up playing Bookworm on the Arcade bit of this site.

It won't let me use everyday words like Kell, Vel and LISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:disbelief:disbelief:disbelief:disbelief:disbelief

One of my favorite diagnosis seen usually on a nursing home patient is "Eurosepsis"

A physician yesterday ordered "monoclonic platelets". Huh???

I always hated getting orders for "salt poor albumin" and having to drag out of them if they wanted 25% or 5% albumin. Even worse is when they order "salt pork albumin". :sarcastic

Love this!

I ran a CBC on a pediatric sample collected in a Microtainer tube. This patient was in the ED and the plt count was <10,000. I called the ED and asked to speak to whoever had drawn the blood on this pt to see if there was any possibility that this specimen could be clotted.

The doc came on the phone and I explained that I thought it was unusual that the plt count was this low when everything else looked perfectly fine.

I asked if he thought that the spec could maybe be clotted and he said, "I know there aren't any clots in that specimen I removed them myself".

Come to find out, the ED had applicator sticks in the dept and they were checking their specimens for clots prior to submitting them to the lab.

hahaha

A doctor called the BB for a baby's blood type...I told her "B Positive". She then asked, " B as Boy???"

????

A doctor called the BB for a baby's blood type...I told her "B Positive". She then asked, " B as Boy???"

Oh My! The things we hear.....Do some of them scare anyone else?

Oh My! The things we hear.....Do some of them scare anyone else?

YES!!! Frequently!!! Often I sit shaking my head hoping to never need to be a patient in any hospital. I will be a nervous, paranoid wreck worring about the competency of the staff caring for me. Just enough knowledge here to scare myself sillier I guess.

Just to scare you a little bit more Deny......

We've had a sample in a couple of days ago from a large London Hospital.

They wanted us to confirm anti-K.

Sadly, we couldn't - but we did detect the anti-U that was actually present!

Not much difference in the number of cells with which they react!!!!!!!!!!

:omg::omg:

Please never let me be seriously ill! Please, please, please...

A doctor called the BB for a baby's blood type...I told her "B Positive". She then asked, " B as Boy???"

Maybe she just watched the Star Trek episode where Spock needs a blood transfusion and thought you said "T".

Yes, something like that was my worst nightmare. Patient had previously identified 2 significant antibodies and this time I could not rule out 3 more antigens.......and anyway.....he wasn't gettin' anything too fast......I had to call the Rare Donor Registry to try and just get something that may have been compatible. I'm in a Red Cross reference lab trying to work, and the hospital lab called, and called, and then the nurse called and called.......then finally the Dr. called and said "IF MY PATIENT DIES I'M GOING TO HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE!!!" I then decided I wasn't getting paid enough!

This came from a Transporter, not a doctor...nevertheless; yesterday an "obviously untrained" person came to pick up blood. When reading back the blood type, she said the patient was "zero POS."

Brenda Hutson, CLS(ASCP)SBB

Maybe she just watched the Star Trek episode where Spock needs a blood transfusion and thought you said "T".

When doctors are screaming for compatible blood for a patient with impossible antibodies, I often have been tempted to ask them to tell the patient to quit making the antibodies because that is just as logical as their request that we find a compatible unit in a timely fashion. Just offer them incompatible blood if they can't wait and that should either shut them up or weed out the few patients where that might actually be necessary to save their lives--then quit answering the phone.